Understanding Grooming

Grooming behaviour and the steps to sexual offending

 
The following material is prepared to help answer common questions that arise regarding sexual abuse in general and Grooming behaviour specifically. It is provided to provide understanding and assistance when responding to detailed reports of allegations relating to sexual abuse and offending.

What is Grooming?
It is essential to understand that Grooming is a stage in the child sexual abuse process. In other words, grooming is undertaken to commence abuse and not undertaken as an ‘end behaviour’. Rather, Grooming is the first behaviour exhibited by offenders in the process of proceeding to commencement of abuse. Unless external circumstances prevent the sexual abuse occurring (such as being caught by another person, or physically removed from the relationship with the child) grooming will always lead to abuse.

How does Grooming start?

“It usually begins with subtle behaviour that may not initially appear to be inappropriate, such as paying a lot of attention to the child or being very affectionate. Many victims of grooming and sexual abuse do not recognize they are being manipulated, nor do they realize how grooming is a part of the abuse process.

  • An adult seems overly interested in a child.
  • An adult frequently initiates or creates opportunities to be alone with a child (or multiple children).
  • An adult becomes fixated on a child.
  • An adult gives special privileges to a child (e.g., rides to and from practices, etc.).
  • An adult befriends a family and shows more interest in building a relationship with the child than with the adults
  • An adult displays favouritism towards one child within a family.
  • An adult finds opportunities to buy a child gifts.
  • An adult caters to the interests of the child, so a child or the parent may initiate contact with the offender.
  • An adult who displays age and gender preferences.
     
    Grooming is a method of building trust with a child and adults around the child in an effort to gain access to and time alone with her/him. However, in extreme cases, offenders may use threats and physical force to sexually assault or abuse a child. More common, though, are subtle approaches designed to build relationships with families. The offender may assume a caring role, befriend the child, or even exploit their position of trust and authority to groom the child and/or the child’s family. These individuals intentionally build relationships with the adults around a child or seek out a child who may have fewer adults in her/his life. This increases the likelihood that the offender’s time with the child is welcomed and encouraged.
     
    The purpose of grooming is:
  • To reduce the likelihood of a disclosure.
  • To reduce the likelihood of the child being believed.
  • To reduce the likelihood of being detected.
  • To manipulate the perceptions of other adults around the child.
  • To manipulate the child into becoming a cooperating participant which reduces the likelihood of a disclosure and increases the likelihood that the child will repeatedly return to the offender.”

Does Grooming always lead to sexual abuse?

  • The answer is yes, unless an external circumstance prevents this, for example:
  • The Groomer is caught grooming
  • The Groomer senses the child is becoming distrustful or resistant to the grooming tactics, leading to the Groomer moving towards another child (although the Groomer may still attempt to “win back” the child)
  • The Groomer assesses that they are at risk of being discovered as a sexual Groomer by either the child’s carer(s) or another party
  • The child of their own volition either avoids the Groomer or refuses to spend time with them
  • Other information about grooming behaviour:

    [The following is from the following resources: http://www.casac.org.au/site%20docs/Grooming.pdf ]
  • Groomers show an inappropriate interest in a child’s sexual development 
  • Groomers often look for children that have been sexually abused in the past and “reaching out to them” – they might use this past experience as a way of “helping” the child, telling the child he/she can talk to the groomer about this rather than their parents
  • Groomers want to share secrets with or know secrets kept by the child
  • Socialising physical touch between Groomer and child by beginning with hugs, kisses, physical touch that begins by being socially appropriate but increases in prevalence and duration. Moving to “accidental” sexual touch commonly through tickling, wrestling and rough play. 
  • Groomers have inappropriate, intrusive or “pushy” interest in the child’s sexual development, and in the case of previously abused children, history
  • Offences against children are also committed within the context of a carefully prepared opportunity. Occasionally, lone children are attacked by a stranger but, more commonly, the scene is carefully staged. Again, offences against children are more commonly committed by someone known to the victim, such as a relative, sports coach or someone who has ‘befriended’ a family. The opportunity is created by, over time, the perpetrator placing themselves in a position of trust. This means that the perpetrator can be alone with the child and can also exercise a degree of authority. Again, offenders may go to great lengths to create the opportunity such as training in a particular occupation, doing voluntary work and so on.
  • Groomers may have more than one child they are grooming. Groomers may target children in larger families especially as the child may welcome special one-to-one attention.
  • Groomers also may target children from single mother families in order to find a child who might be grateful for attention from another adult who seeks to fill a parental gap in the child’s life.